An Enormous Capacity to Love

Tonight Pilar and I encountered an outpouring of support unlike anything we have experienced. A friend from Cross Way called me in the office this afternoon with a simple request, "can I bring dinner over to your house for you guys tonight?" I like to eat. "Sure," I responded. Pilar really has not been feeling well. Friday may have been one of the most difficult days yet - hence our last post "It's not easy being green!" Knowing that things have been challenging, Laurie simply wanted to help make things a bit easier. She did. Dinner was great. It was a gift of wonderful generosity. We are so absolutely appreciative.

Then the phone rang a second time. By now it was 9:00 p.m. Pilar and I had just returned from an exploratory mission in search of the perfect maternity outfit when Laurie called with a second request. "Can Rachel (her 20 year old daughter) and I stop by for a minute? We won't stay long, we just need to drop something off." I was curious. "Sure," I responded for a second time.

Fifteen minutes later, a Ford Explorer slowly came to a stop in front of our house. Pilar and I met Laurie and Rachel in the front yard anxious to know what would bring them out at this time of night with such urgency. "What are you up to?" I asked. With a sheepish grin, Rachel responded, "we couldn't help ourselves, we're just so excited." She proceeded to unload an enormous gift bag from the tailgate of the Explorer. Inside was a treasure chest of baby supplies. Receiving blankets, pacifiers, diapers, soothing bath soap, onesies, wash cloths, baby wipes and a small pair of newborn booties, this was a gift that exceeded anything we could have imagined. Pilar and I are amazed. We are unbelievably grateful. Such warm generosity and sincere anticipation of our coming arrival humbles us. I was and am speechless. All finite nature will allow me to express is "Thank you," but thank you only seems to fall short of how we really feel.

Nonetheless, Laurie and Rachel - THANK YOU so very much! Through something as simple as litte booties we have experienced your enormous capacity to love. We deeply appreciate your generous heart!

It's Not Easy Being Green

Wasn't it Kermit the Frog who used to sing the song "It's not easy being green," after Miss Piggy or some other Muppet character refused to listen to the logic of this well intentioned frog on Sesame Street? It's amazing the truth that carries over into life from the childhood lessons first gleaned from one of Jim Henson's creative teaching moments. Right now in our household one thing is certain, "It's not easy being green."

As I make this entry, my wonderfully pregnant wife has already drifted into a night of well deserved rest. It's been a tough day to say the least. Guess what Kermit, it's not easy being green on our street either. After convincing Pilar that a day off from work would be the best remedy for the nausea she was experiencing this morning, we proceeded to fluctuate from moments of seeming calm to extreme discomfort. I just feel horrible about how Pilar is feeling. Everyone says, “Oh, just wait until after the first trimester – then you will feel great!” People lie. Monday will make fourteen weeks that we have been pregnant – two weeks into the second trimester. I sure hope that wisdom begins to prove it self true because it's not easy being green.

The quest for the holy grail

Buying a house is a drop in the bucket when compared to buying a crib. This is the most belabored decision a family will make in preparation for a child. Do you go with an Italian line, Canadian line, remain faithful to the good ole US of A or sell out entirely to an Asian import? Do you explore convertible cribs that allow for expansion into a toddler bed, day bed, full bed? Should we have a knee release, casters for rolling, flip down entry way? Is it best to have spring support or the newer concept of wooden mattress supports? What style is best? Do we want something more contemporary, perhaps more country, white, cherry, auburn or antiqued finish? And what about the slat width? It has to be safe. And don't forget about the complementary furniture. I think we like this crib or that, but the dresser leaves some to be desired. And we've still not considered the "bumper theme" or mattress pad - there are decisions required there as well. At least when buying a home you have the assistance of a home inspector to help you consider all of your options and troubleshoot your questions. But with this, it seems to be every man and wife for themselves. I think my favorite part of the search is watching couples sit intently in a display of "glider" chairs, sweat dripping from their brow, discussing each aspect of every crib, evaluating as if the decision that is about to be made could possibly affect global hunger or a peace embargo. And I'm careful not to exclude myself from my own revelation; I fit into this camp as well. But nonetheless, I find it all quite humorous and take this moment to laugh even at myself.

Listen in on "Baby Peigh"

Each doctor's appointment seems to encompass more excitement. Tuesday's trip to our health provider was verification of such truth. Pilar and I entered the office with about as much anticipation as I can ever remember having, but no where near able to comprehend what we were about to experience. Even our annoyance from the fact that the doctor was behind in seeing patients and we were busy rushing to appointments of our own couldn't lessen the anticipation.

Eventually the doctor did see us. After weighing in and fielding some questions from the gallery the bell rang and the experience was under way. The technology that is available for pregnancies is really amazing. They call the small piece of equipment used to listen to the heart beat a "doplar." It works about like an ultrasound only is designed for sound versus sight. In addition it can give you a pretty good idea of what to expect from the weather the next day. "Well, let's see here. Your baby's heart rate is 145 and it's going to be partly cloudy tomorrow with a 40 percent chance of showers." I am kidding of course.

The technology that most couples are bringing into the appointments is equally amazing. In an effort to capture this moment indefinitely, I borrowed an Ipod from a friend with a microphone attachment. With this, I would be able to record the heartbeat as we were hearing it and share it with family, friends or simply listen to in a random moment when Pilar and I wander in a day dream about our child. However, as the doctor entered the room, I noticed she glanced at what was in my hand with perplexing look. It was a very quick moment, but her face seemed to say, "oh no - he's going to be one of those dads." You know the kind -- the dad that video tapes a child's first hiccup as if it was the most significant milestone ever recorded in child development. Well she might be right, but what I learned in the next moment was that there better be a gracious learning curve at becoming that kind of dad.

As the doctor began to explore Pilar's belly with the "doplar" device, I prepared my Ipod and steadied my emotions. And then a pronounced "thump, thump, thump, thump" began to sound. I did what any hiccup filming father would do, full of excitement I exclaimed, "Wow! Listen to that! Our child! Amazing!" This is no time for complete intelligible sentences. However, my excitement was returned with correction. "Um, sir, that's your wife," the doctor explained. Pilar laughed. I collected my excitement and hit stop on the recorder. While intriguing, Pilar's heartbeat would only be the preview to the main attraction.

Then out of no where this tiny little sound emerged. Again a "thump, thump, thump," only this time nearly twice as fast as what was first heard. This was what we had waited for. Strong and healthy, the baby stayed in one place long enough to give us about twenty seconds together. It was unbelievably amazing. But it wasn't nearly long enough. I could have sat there listening for hours. It is such a new emotion to feel so connected to someone whom we have neither seen nor heard nor communicated with except in these wonderfully surreal moments. Nonetheless there simply is no one else in this world Pilar and I would have rather been in the presence of than the pounding echo of our child's heartbeat. Then just as quickly as it arrived, it was silent again as our little guy/gal continued exploring its temporary home. With a deep sense of relief that everything was okay, I directed my attention back toward the Ipod in an effort to replay what we had just experienced. To my surprise however, all I found was a paused program ready to record. WHAT? I didn't capture this? How could I screw this up? My first real responsibility as a dad and all I had was the recording of my own voice exclaiming at the sound of Pilar's heartbeat and the doctor's less than compassionate correction. "Hiccup Dad" came with great intentions, but received a strong D+ for performance. I pleaded with the doctor to try again. "I have to get this right," I thought to myself. Unfortunately "Baby Peigh" was too busy jumping rope or whatever babies do in the womb for the doctor to find the heartbeat again. But "Hiccup Dad" is persistent. I called our friend Angela, a midwife with all the connections to all the "right people." She had access to a doplar and was willing to meet us the next evening to give it a second shot. Interestingly enough, this time it was even better. "Baby Peigh" was quite content to keep still for a couple of minutes and we were able to record each and every second. Perhaps you would like to listen in as we did! Click on the link below and be amazed!

Tuesday we hear Thumper

I sense we are gaining an audience. Over the past couple of weeks, more and more friends and family are beginning to access this site. We are thrilled you have come to visit and hope you'll come back to check in often. The official "pregnancy press release" is not yet circulating, but the time is coming soon. Until then, feel free to share this site in leaking the great news with friends and family as we celebrate together!

Tuesday is a big day. We have a 3:15 appointment with our doctor to hear the thumper for the first time. Several weeks ago we had an ultrasound performed in which the baby could be seen (well a slightly fuzzy circular shape could been seen), but not heard. What was clear in that initial visit was the flicker of the heartbeat. Amazing. Completely amazing. However, on Tuesday we will actually hear the heartbeat. During the ultrasound at week five, I remember the technician sharing that the heart rate was 144 beats per minute. It will be interesting to see if the little guy/gal is still keeping such a frenetic pace. Old wives tales are a dime a dozen (maybe even a dime for two dozen) but one such tale suggests the higher the heart rate the greater likelihood it is a girl. After week eleven, our gut suggests the same but our premonitions seem to be as fleeting as our appetites these days.

All is well on the homestead. We continue to rejoice in your friendship and the anticipation of what is to come. Just below this entry (and all entries) to the right is a link for "comments." Please feel free to post comments, suggestions, advice, or a humorous anecdote. We enjoy hearing from you!